


Same Place It Went In

by patchfire, raving_liberal



Category: Glee
Genre: Comedy of Errors, Fuckurt Trope Bingo, M/M, MPREG SQUARE OR YOU KNOW WE WOULD NEVER, Mpreg, Trans Male Character, Tumblr: fuckurtweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 07:18:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7881859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patchfire/pseuds/patchfire, https://archiveofourown.org/users/raving_liberal/pseuds/raving_liberal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt has never heard of a male pregnancy before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Same Place It Went In

**Author's Note:**

> For the MPREG (!!! I KNOW RIGHT?) square for Fuckurt Trope Bingo 2.0!

Kurt first realizes something is going on at Thanksgiving. The dinner is almost ready, and Kurt briefly notices Carole talking to Puckerman—Kurt can’t quite break the habit, even if Finn and Puckerman have been married for three years—before she lets out what Kurt can only describe as a squeal as she hugs Puckerman. 

“Noah!” Carole says happily, and Kurt swivels his head to find out Finn’s reaction. Surely this is an oddly over-the-top reaction for Carole to be having. Finn, however, is laughing and looking like this is both pleasing and expected. Kurt isn’t sure what in the world could possibly be going on, but whatever it is, it makes Carole and Puckerman have a short whispered conversation. Kurt assumes that if it’s important, he’ll hear about it sooner or later. 

It turns out to be “sooner.” After everyone’s said something for which they’re thankful, Carole says to Burt, “Finn and Noah have an announcement, before we eat.” 

Puckerman nods but looks at Finn. Finn smiles in response. 

“So, we’re having a baby!” Finn says. 

Kurt stares at Finn, then Puckerman, then at Carole, who looks like she wants to squeal again. Burt looks as surprised as Kurt feels, but Kurt decides he needs to respond. “Well, congratulations,” he says, not quite managing to sound as excited as he means to. “When’s the baby arriving?” 

“Not until July,” Puck says, looking oddly pleased, and Kurt wonders if he made the biological contribution to the surrogate. 

“So early still,” Kurt says. “But you’re telling people?” He looks at Finn again, and decides Finn looks pleased, too. 

Finn nods. “We’ve already seen the heartbeat on the ultrasound, and everything looks great!”

“We have to drive to Columbus, but it’s worth it,” Puck says. 

“Oh? Is that where the surrogate lives?” Kurt asks, and for some reason, that makes Puck start immediately laughing. 

“No surrogate,” Puck says through his laughter. 

Finn just looks confused. “That’s a very strange thing to assume,” he says. 

“Well, I didn’t think most adoptions were so set in stone this many months out,” Kurt says. 

Puck shakes his head. “No adoption, either. Just me.” 

“And me,” Finn says. “I did my part.”

“Yeah, you did,” Puck says, grinning at Finn. 

Kurt isn’t sure how in the world they’re expecting him to believe that a man is pregnant, but Carole is beaming at them, and now that Kurt looks more closely, Puck’s hand is resting on his belly. Kurt sighs. Male pregnancy sounds very odd to him, but maybe it’s true, especially now that Finn appears to be showing Carole said ultrasound photos. 

“Well,” Kurt says, preparing to repeat himself. “Congratulations, then!” 

 

Near the end of March, Kurt is back in Lima visiting, mostly using Easter as an excuse, and Carole cooks a big meal for them all. Kurt positions himself to scrutinize Finn and Puck as they arrive, and sure enough, Puck does appear to be ‘showing’, a small belly and no other weight gain that Kurt can discern. 

Carole peppers Finn and Puck with questions about the nursery and when they’re going to register so that she can plan the shower with plenty of time before the birth. When Burt goes upstairs to nap and Carole goes to make up leftover containers for Finn and Puck to take with them, Kurt looks over at Finn and Puck, who are leaning together and talking quietly. 

“Finn?” Kurt says. “May I ask a question?” 

“Sure,” Finn says. 

“So is this whole…” Kurt trails off, and decides not to specifically insert ‘male’. “Pregnancy like a… Jewish thing?” Maybe there are genetic things in the Jewish community that Kurt isn’t aware of. 

“Well, we’re not devout or anything, but we’ll probably do the usual baby stuff, and I guess the bar or bat mitzvah once they’re old enough,” Finn says. 

Puck frowns at Kurt. “Are you making some kind of gross reference?” he demands, sounding angry, then wipes at his eyes. “Dammit!” 

“What?” Kurt says, feeling bewildered by both of their responses. “No! Of course not. Ah, um. Are you finding out the gender?” 

That gets both Puck and Finn glaring at him, and Finn pats Puck’s back gently while launching into what Kurt has to admit is an impressive lecture on the difference between sex and gender. Kurt tries to explain that he misspoke, but Finn continues for at least ten minutes, still glaring. 

“Are you finding out the _sex_ , then?” Kurt asks. 

Puck rolls his eyes. “No.”

“We want to be surprised,” Finn says. 

Kurt nods, because it seems like the expected thing to do, but internally he marvels. Isn’t Finn’s husband turning up pregnant surprise enough? 

 

Kurt returns to Lima once more in May, for the baby shower that Carole has organized. It’s an odd mix of attendees: some coworkers of Finn and Puck’s, a few people they keep in touch with from college, some friends of Carole’s, and no one else from New Directions except for Mike. No one else there seems to think it’s at all odd that Puck is pregnant and _looking_ quite pregnant. The only games, thankfully, involve guessing the number of green jelly beans in a large plastic rattle bank, and three rousing rounds of baby BINGO. 

After most of the attendees have left, Kurt volunteers to help double-check the gift list with the cards, and then assemble the gifts into fewer boxes for easier carrying. Carole starts carrying boxes out, and Kurt overhears Puck saying something about still needing a medium-size bag for the hospital. 

“Oh, that reminds me,” Kurt says. He’s used Google to no avail, and in general, neither Finn nor Puck seems to mind very many questions. “How exactly is the birth going to proceed?” 

Puck whispers something to Finn. Finn snickers and nods.

“We’ve got a birth plan, of course, but there’s really no way to know how it’s going to go until it happens,” Finn says. “Our doula thinks we should remember to be flexible.”

Kurt nods slowly. “But _where_ will the baby come out?” 

“Same place it went in,” Puck says with a smirk, at the same time that Finn says, “Mount Carmel Medical Center.” Then Puck looks at Finn and laughs before whispering something else. 

“Yeah, that’s true,” Finn replies to Puck. 

“Oh, well, that’s a bit of a drive,” Kurt says, relieved to find a slight topic change. 

“First time labors usually last a pretty long time,” Finn says, as though that clears up any remaining element of mystery. 

“Oh. Right, yes,” Kurt says as Carole returns for the next load. “It’s good you’ve thought things through so well!” 

 

Kurt doesn’t really enjoy staying in the city in July, when temperatures soar and too few places have working air conditioning, and considering there’s a new niece or nephew arriving, somehow, he decides to head back to Ohio at the beginning of July. While Carole and Burt are at work, Kurt often goes to Finn and Puck’s, or they come to Burt and Carole’s, and on the fifth or sixth afternoon like that, Kurt decides to change Puck’s nine months pregnant moods and Finn’s clear protectiveness. 

“I admit, I’ve been wondering,” Kurt says. “How does the genetics work in a case like this? Is there a higher chance of having a baby with XY chromosomes, since there are more Y chromosomes floating around?” 

Puck stares at Kurt, then looks at Finn. “I don’t understand the question, do you?” Finn shakes his head. 

“Two men having a child, it’s not guaranteed that there will be an X in the mix at all,” Kurt says. “Don’t you remember genetics from biology?” 

“I don’t get what it is you’re asking,” Finn says. “Like, where would the extra Y come from?”

“Males are XY,” Kurt says slowly. “So if you both are XY, there was even a chance of a YY embryo.” 

Puck stares at Kurt and blinks. “Finn. He thinks…” 

“Wait. No, he can’t possibly,” Finn says, looking baffled and a little like he thinks Puck’s making a joke. “There’s no way.”

“He really thought!” Puck says, starting to laugh. “You thought two XY people could make an embryo, and then one of them could grow it, Kurt?” 

“Well… yes…” Kurt says, trailing off and feeling confused. 

“Where would they even put it?” Finn asks. 

“Maybe they have a special Man-Uterus?” Puck suggests. 

“I mean, that’s _technically_ what you have,” Finn says. 

“I’m going to tell the nurses that,” Puck says. “Kurt, you really didn’t know?” 

“Know what?” Kurt asks, now more bewildered. 

Finn shakes his head. “Kurt, did you not _ever_ look at those pictures from when me and Puck were kids? I know Mom tried to show you to them a bunch when we were getting married, because she said you wanted us to do some kind of collage, but we didn’t want to.”

“I didn’t study them closely!” Kurt says defensively. “Why?” 

“He was in girl clothes in a lot of them. You didn’t wonder who the girl was in the pictures of me and Puck?” Finn asks. 

“I… thought some pictures of you and a cousin had gotten mixed in,” Kurt says slowly. “That was you, Puck?” 

“Hey, I pass _really_ well,” Puck says to Finn. 

“You’re a dude-lier dude than I ever was,” Finn says. “I mean, I’m taller, but that’s about it.”

“I’m dude-lier even with my man-uterus,” Puck says, looking pleased. 

“You’re trans,” Kurt says, probably unnecessarily. “And no one ever knew.” 

“Mike knew. Also my mom,” Finn says. 

“Mike was the only one who made the connection between Finn’s elementary school best friend and his middle school best friend,” Puck says wryly. “Not even Karofsky managed that.” 

“Your hair was way better in middle school, though. That could be why,” Finn says. 

“I didn’t have to cut it myself,” Puck says, shrugging. 

“That does make things make a great deal more sense,” Kurt admits. 

“ _That’s_ why he wanted to know where the baby was coming out!” Puck says. 

“Oh my god, Kurt! Where did you _think_ it would come out?” Finn asks, starting to laugh. “Oh my god, I don’t even know what to say about that.”

Puck laughs. “ _Butt baby_ ,” he says dramatically. 

“I didn’t know you were trans!” Kurt says. 

“Oh my god, a butt baby is better than what _I_ was thinking he thought!” Finn says. 

Puck grimaces. “That sounds painful.” 

“Oh my god,” Kurt says. “Oh my god, I have made a mistake.” 

“I don’t even think the, you know, the physics of that would work,” Finn says. 

“Physics, biology, probably there’s some way to work in how chemistry and geology wouldn’t work for a cis guy to get knocked up, too,” Puck says. “Kurt, that’s amazing.” 

“How was I supposed to jump to the conclusion you were trans?” Kurt says. 

Finn snorts. “Uh, because he’s a _man_ and he’s _pregnant_.”

“Mazel tov?” Kurt says weakly. 

“We just thought you were, you know, _super_ chill about the trans thing,” Puck explains. 

“I was going to ask you to be the baby’s atheist godfather,” Finn says. “This doesn’t mean you’ll say no now, right? Like, you’re still cool with everything?”

“Oh, yes, I—that’d be lovely,” Kurt says. “I’m cool. Super cool.” 

“Aww, that’s great!” Finn says, grabbing Kurt into a bear hug and giving him a hard squeeze. Kurt returns the hug, though not squeezing as hard. 

“Um, Finn?” Puck says about thirty seconds into Finn and Kurt’s hug. “I think my man-uterus is excited.” 

“Huh?” Finn says. “Is that code for something?”

“Labor,” Puck says. 

“We need to call the doctor!” Finn says, immediately letting go of Kurt and hugging Puck instead. 

“You leave,” Kurt says. “I’ll call. You have a long way to drive.”


End file.
